Comments on My Journey To Recovery: Grateful

Hola James,Thanks for coming over and comments.Gre...

2008-11-04T07:52:01.795+08:00

Hola James,

Thanks for coming over and comments.

Greetings and lots of love from Malaysia.

i myself have some problems with my attitude and i...

2008-11-04T05:45:58.757+08:00

i myself have some problems with my attitude and i realize that i sometimes hurt people that i care about... the thing is that we have a choice... to choose to act in a way or not... but sometimes it is easier said than done...

Drug addiction is considered a pathological state....

2008-11-03T21:51:22.414+08:00

Drug addiction is considered a pathological state. The disorder of addiction involves the progression of acute drug use to the development of drug-seeking behavior, the vulnerability to relapse, and the decreased, slowed ability to respond to naturally rewarding stimuli. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) has categorized three stages of addiction: preoccupation/anticipation, binge/intoxication, and withdrawal/negative affect. These stages are characterized, respectively, by constant cravings and preoccupation with obtaining the substance; using more of the substance than necessary to experience the intoxicating effects; and experiencing tolerance, withdrawal symptoms, and decreased motivation for normal life activities. By definition, drug addiction differs from drug dependence and drug tolerance.

Drugs such as codeine or alcohol, for instance, typically require many more exposures to addict their users than drugs such as heroin or cocaine. Likewise, a person who is psychologically or genetically predisposed to addiction is much more likely to suffer from it.

In the USA, the goal of treatment for drug dependence is generally total abstinence from all drugs, which while theoretically the ideal outcome, is in practice often very difficult to achieve. Other countries particularly in Europe view the aims of treatment for drug dependence to be more complex, with treatment aims including reduction in use to the point that drug use no longer interferes with normal activities such as work and family commitments.
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Dakshina
Drug Rehab

Che Man oiiii! Apsal lambat sangat nak update blog...

2008-11-03T16:49:31.054+08:00

Che Man oiiii! Apsal lambat sangat nak update blog nih?

*trap trap trap*

Hah, Cendana287 tuh pun dah lama tak menulis. Nak kena dia tuh...

p/s: since I have no idea what to write so I ll cruise around my blog links urging people to write. LOL. How typical.

Hola Lauran,Thanks.Greeting and lots of love from ...

2008-11-03T16:03:18.955+08:00

Hola Lauran,

Thanks.

Greeting and lots of love from Malaysia.

Very nice and interesting blog. I have gained lot ...

2008-11-03T15:14:10.278+08:00

Very nice and interesting blog. I have gained lot of useful information from it.
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lauran
Drug Rehab

@ Elviza - a slipped and I was shown a yellow card...

2008-11-01T09:25:34.696+08:00

@ Elviza - a slipped and I was shown a yellow card (I can see Mat Salo in refeeree's black and white furiously blowing the whistle, hehehe). I thought he was going to sent me to detention class!

Sorry boys, didnn't mean to make your girl to feel/look too advanced in years.

Anyway, I envy you Elviza. I wish I have friends who are a bit possessive of me. Only then I would feel safe - Want to kacau my girl, aa? You sure kina one!

I stand corrected.

Night, night to you too, Hehehe...

@ Mat Salo - How could you, man? You better invite her or it gonna cause you a full page of apology in Mangga? Hehehe, you know about the saying, the kuman that you can see from afar but you failed to notice a beautiful lass right in front of you? tsk! tsk! tsk!

Hola Bro, I was wondering about that too. About that wonder boy, Artimus Pyle tu la. So, I sent my intelligence guy to dig out any info about him. This has not been confirmed yet (very hush hush too). It seemed that Ghadzali Shafie was in Fox Theater during the three days concert (and the making of One More From The Road). After the concert, he was allowed to go backstage and met Artimus Pyle (legend has it that he wanted to be a drummer after learning the basic from Carmine Appice). Their friendship was bonded since then.

Following the recording of Street Survivors, Van Zant and Collins was heard saying something about "Pyle berbau kemayan" thus inspired the ominous That Smell.

Sorry Bro, that's all I have so far. I guess that's what Urban Legend are make of, huh? Hehehe...

@ Mat Cendana - Nothing you wrote are trivial. They're full of gem, insight and understanding. Love your style of writing, I could feel I was inside my cell twelve foot by eight, looking out through the tiny barred window to the exercise yard below (I was on the third floor).

Yeah, I'm with you Mat. Praying there will be "influential people" with enough heart and foresight who could do something about that.

Excuse me ArahMan7,You know, Mat Salo's greatest f...

2008-10-31T23:40:37.003+08:00

Excuse me ArahMan7,

You know, Mat Salo's greatest faux pas this year, is the fact that he forgot to tell me about the meeting he tells everyone about!

Huh!

Cendana 287: I stand corrected my friend :-)

This is awesome, can everybody come down to KL on Nov 29? I know I ll clear off my schedule just to hang out with the bloggers .

Mat Salo, maybe we should pick some other place lah, AsamPedas hari tuh tak memberangsangkan lah makanan dia.

Nite nite.

Bro Freebird: (keponakan arwah Ronnie Van Zant ko?...

2008-10-31T18:20:58.317+08:00

Bro Freebird: (keponakan arwah Ronnie Van Zant ko?) La wareh, apo lak ko panggir er Kak... terakhir den 'faux pas' tu nasib tak kono amik full page ad dalam Mangga mintak ampun.

Bro, feel free to bring the kids too. Ini very informal bro. Object eh nak discuss camnor Artimus Pyle can walk away from the plane crash. I like the 'One More From (for?) The Road' live album. Classic.

Bro' Traveling Gambangi: Am in the process of composing appropriate congratulatory salutations to Mat T. My childhood friend pon at same investiture dapat lato. They deserve it bro.

Er, if I may, what you wrote..thanks. Means a lot to me too bro.

@mat salo"Whoa.. Mat Cendana's comments is worthy ...

2008-10-31T04:16:29.601+08:00

@mat salo
"Whoa.. Mat Cendana's comments is worthy of its own separate post!"

You have helped me a great deal during the past seven days. Besides your comments at both my blogs (which I had acknowledged and explained why they are extremely important), you have now added another one above. THAT shows why I'm not as prolific at my sites as I wish to be - it's because I've been making too many and too long comments at OTHER blogs.

Have to make a few adjustments to this habit. I will try to find the best "win-win" solution to this.

And there are a few other important things from your comment here that I'm giving a lot of thought to (actually I had already read this comment in my e-mail on Thursday). This one too is of note: "One lives and learn." ... of which I would like to add in: "And TRY to do the right thing when similar situations reappear in the future". Taking the right action in thoughts, words and physical actions ... We will surely improve our selves and our lots when we do this one consistently. Yes, it's easy for me to write this - DOING is way tougher.

Again, THANKS for your frank talk and encouragement, brader Mat. I'm putting this on record that with me, it's the honesty and sincerity of people like you whom I'm meeting through the blogs that have been the biggest factor in my life over the past couple of months.

One important thing that I've been convinced of is the truth in striving for "the basic HOW" as mentioned in Narcotics Anonymous to be the start and foundation towards the recovery process: Honesty, Open-Mindedness, Willingness. There are many more, of course. But from the experience of NA members over the decades, these should be done first...the others will follow.

Actually, it's helpful for EVERYONE and not just recovering addicts (doesn't matter whether it's drugs [illegal AND legal], alcohol, sex, gambling, over-eating...Internet, video games, music, movies... whatever that is "obsessive and compulsive")

Like what you had said earlier, "One lives and learn".

@elvizaThis might look trivial but I somehow feel ...

2008-10-31T03:14:00.707+08:00

@elviza
This might look trivial but I somehow feel called upon to add in something to this sentence in Elviza's comment:
"Since then, it dawned on me, how awful it is to be without books - that is like to be in jail! Jail kan tak ada tingkap. *shudder*"

Actually, there are "windows"; or at least close enough to them ... mostly. Except perhaps at the solitary confinement cells (They don't call these "bilik gelap" for nothing).

Anyway, the ones that do have them include the airholes with bars that are often too high to function as "regular windows" (your sentence is valid with this one).

But at a few of the blocks in Pengkalan Chepa, they are even wide!...like those of classrooms at government schools. Yes, with iron grills instead of "narco", of course. That's a relief - the air circulation is very good,and you could at least see things others than your walls.

And you'll shudder even more when you know of this extremely dumb policy of some prisons concerning books: I know for a fact that it's extremely tough to get reading materials at Pengkalan Chepa. The officers use the reason of "prisoners misusing them" to `explain' their action.

Yes, many prisoners had used the paper to `balut' whatever tobacco they managed to get. So that becomes a very convenient excuse for many prisons not to provide this facility.

I hope there will be "influential people" with enough heart and foresight who could do something about this. It is such a waste FOR EVERYONE that these prisoners are given reasonable opportunities to self-improve, gain knowledge and use their time in a more worthwhile manner through reading.

ArahMan7
There's an extremely glaring error in that "Kak Elviza"... Were you having Puteri Kamaliah on your mind instead when you wrote that?:-)

Wow, another Leonard Skinner's fan. I'm impressed,...

2008-10-30T23:29:36.053+08:00

Wow, another Leonard Skinner's fan. I'm impressed, Sir. Too bad, Burung Bebas is not in your list, yet. If given a choice, I'd choose Dio Orang panggil Den Bayu would be appropriate.

Seriously, am I being proposed again? Gee, that's great. I'm not pulling rank on you, am I? And I get to know those high profile friends of yours?

If I ain't asking too much, can I take a friend along? (Nak kono wareh den ni, boi botis nak poho plak!) You see Sir, I can't bear to be away from her, not even a minute if you care to believe, hehehe! (Cewah! Tu bolom den melutut laie)

Just kidding, Bro. Just kidding. It's just that I'm too happy getting to know you. And you grace my humble blog just by your presence. Wait till I tell my Pa and Ma who has been coming to my blog lately?

Come on over anytime, Bro. You're always welcome here. To the others too, Ahmad Cendana, Kak Elviza, Abg Salo and the rest. Still waiting for our princess, to complete The Four Musketeers.

See you around, Bro.

Greetings and lots of love from one Langiang living in Kuale Kangsor.

Greetings from one wareh den to another. Apo kabar...

2008-10-30T17:45:00.231+08:00

Greetings from one wareh den to another. Apo kabar?

Whoa.. Mat Cendana's comments is worthy of its own separate post!

To add, I learned quite a few things coming here - what with you and Mat C double-heading the tag team - and that's the point. One lives and learn. I used to be an asshole with a capital A and stayed an 'angry young man' until I started blogging. Now I'm not so young anymore. It humbled me because I now know a lot of things about myself than I ever did... and that's by going to other peoples blogs. Believe me, you guys can change people's perceptions merely by the power of your words. And that's important. The key word is connect. And you're doin' mighty fine doin' the connectin'...

As for addictions (I think Galadriel has brought this up before) - there are many shapes, sizes and forms. One extreme example is that guy -apakenama - the lead in the X Files who had to be treated for sex addiction. Hmm. Parah tu. If in Malsia where does one go for this type? It's questions like these that keep me up nights.. So I'm addicted to knowing things outside my realm. Can be dangerous, I know... heh..

Writing to express yourself, in my view, is the best therapy known to man. Be true and honest, and walla - stuff you write can be more profound that 10 Bookers put together.

I like the idea of you calling yourselves Travelers (teringat pulak Traveling Wilbury's). Boleh join tak?

My chosen price of admission is me belting at a private audition for you 'minus-1' for any of the following tracks. How's that?

(you get to pick only one)

1.They Call Me The Breeze
2. Gimme Three Steps
3. Tuesday's Gone
4. Travellin' Man

(note: L for Langgiang pun ok gak, tapi Sweet Home Kuale Kangsor and Burung Bebas bolun practise gi)

P.S.

As to November 29, Chegu Nazir nak turun Kumpo. Den tongah arrange gathering (organize amo ngan Shah Talkonly and Tokasid) kek KL lunchtime for lepak sembang. Mudah-mudahan ramai datang bro' including you and Mat Cendana. Venue likely kek The Curve.

My dear new friend,I'm touched by your presence an...

2008-10-30T14:29:10.862+08:00

My dear new friend,

I'm touched by your presence and lovely comments. Thank you for dropping by and for making an old man standing on the top of the world. I cannot thank you enough.

Believe me, those compliments were sincerely given. It came from the bottom of my heart.

Say, I dig your point no. three, but if emulation (according to WordWeb it mean, ambition to equal or excel/surpass another)would involved jealousy (dan apa jua yg sewaktu dgnnya) then I'm not interested.

Nowadays, I'm content just to sit tight and give my support to others. I'm grateful with my life and happy with what I have. Unlike before, (during my first, second, third [ahh, I lost count] relapsed) there's nothing for me to play catch-up and prove to others that I can be 'somebody'.

Please remind me, my new friend to tell you more about it one of these days.

See you around.

Greetings and lots of love from Kuale Kangsor.

Dearest New Friend, You are too kind with complime...

2008-10-30T11:54:52.521+08:00

Dearest New Friend,

You are too kind with compliments. I am deeply touched.

If I may write something about this post:

1) When I was a child (Growing Up in Kuala Krai), I came across a quote from an educator, Horace Mann, "a house without books is like a room without windows."

Since then, it dawned on me, how awful it is to be without books - that is like to be in jail! Jail kan tak ada tingkap. *shudder*

My love affair with book continues until today, sometimes, to the annoyance of those closest to me.

2) As I grew older, I found another quote from a Nobel Laureate, Saul Bellow, "a writer is a reader moved to emulation."

Hah! That explains my itchy fingers to scribe all the time! Never mind that is never good enough in my eyes.

And I dream of writing a master piece in both language of English and Bahasa.

3) So my friend, we must move to emulation. In order to do that,we have to first dream of getting it.

Dreams keep us alive, dreams give us vitality and a reason to move on. Without one, we are reduced to nothing but a human machine.

You, of all persons I read on blogsphere, do have that possible pot of gold to find at the end of the rainbow. Cendana287 included.

4) To put it simply, while it is important to keep reading in order to improve your writing, reading is indeed much more than that: it is your window to the world.

At least that what I have been trying to drill in my son's head. The fact that his father thinks that I am an idealist, notwithstanding.

Good luck, my friend. And no, you will not have a relapse. I know so.

*signing off now, clients screaming on the phone. Sigh*

Hola Fellow Traveler, Thanks for your insight and ...

2008-10-30T09:56:54.386+08:00

Hola Fellow Traveler, Thanks for your insight and meaningful comments. Really appreciate it very much.

But alas, we don't have that kind of feature on BlogSpot and you're right though, I won't complain or worry about my "blog quota limit" at Blogspot being reduced.

Thank you again. I've still a lot to learn.

Greetings and lots of love from Kuale Kangsor.

I had seen notice of your post rather early, thank...

2008-10-30T07:36:09.725+08:00

I had seen notice of your post rather early, thank to one feature of Wordpress - its "Ping" to related blogs. Since you've been into blogs a lot longer than I have, you probably already know about this. But I'm going to mention it anyway just to share with the other readers here.

Whenever something new about my blog at Recovery from Drug Addiction appears in other blogs, a sentence of it will appear as a Comment there. And an e-mail will also be sent to me.

Anyway, I have to say here that your post has made my day - and it's still Subuh as I write this (will have to stop and continue later). There are many things that I'd like to say; the first being "Thanks" for writing such good things about me. They are meaningful in their own special way for they come from "a fellow traveller on the same journey as me" ... someone who has been through and seen what I had, and who shares the same hopes and fears as I do.

There's also that "extra special" factor of you also being in Malaysia. It's true that drug addicts experience and suffer basically the same things regardless of the country they are in, their races or religions. However, I'd tend to emphatise more with someone who has the same images (generally) in mind when things like "urine test", "AADK", "Drug Dependants Act", "Pusat Serenti/Rehab Centres" etc are mentioned.

I have the feeling that, if I fail to control myself, this will be a VERY LONG comment - longer than the post even. Yes, I know you won't complain or worry about your "blog quota limit at Blogspot being reduced:-) However, I'm more worried about myself - I'll be mentally exhausted should I write EVERYTHING that I really want to write right now about this post, which will threaten a piece that I have to complete today. And that would not be fair to me, and especially the people who depend on me to fulfill my part of the bargain in this "day job" of mine (just a term - I'm not on anyone's payroll).

I'll make a deal with ArahMan7 here: I'll write a post at my "Recovery" blog as continuation and inclusion of what I leave here.

The other thing that I'd like to mention here and now is, you have "a certain sense of humour":-) I guess this is "your way", as I have "mine" where I often come across as rather sober, dry and straightforward (I think). No, there is no "right" or "wrong" here in whatever way one chooses as approach to his writing.

I'd also like to mention about those SMS messages from me that you've mentioned here. Firstly, I feel so honoured that someone would keep them; and even more so when they are quoted! It's like I am a famous person or something! I have to mention here that I don't keep 99% of the messages I had received for this one pesky thing - my cheapo handphone doesn't have enough memory.

(It's the second cheapest Nokia model - the 1208, which my elder sister bought for me during the last General Election period. And this laptop I'm typing on is from her too. Without the latter expecially, I wouldn't know you and the other great people I've `met' through the blog and vice versa. And to think that she is the same person whom I had chosen to be hard-headed and "angkuh" (arrogant) with by "memutus hubungan" (breaking off contact) for almost 10 YEARS due to my addiction. Oh, God...)

With that "Booker Prize" SMS, maybe I should enlighten the readers here how it could have come about. During that series of exchanges, ArahMan7 had sent in something, from my memory, that was like this (correct me if I'm too wrong): He had praised my writings, and had added that he "could never write as well as I do".

Before my Gambang days from end of 2005 (aka "addicted to morphine/heroin and methamphetamine"), I would have been full of pride and joy; what with someone saying "I'll ALWAYS be better in writing no matter how hard he were to try".

But I'm happy (with myself) that I'm no longer with this mentality. I KNEW what ArahMan7 had said was wrong when it comes to the principle of it. If it were true, then I, too, should not strive to improve my own writing "since I can never be like those published authors". That's a scary and discouraging thought, for I do have dreams of writing a few books (whether they will be realised is another matter, but having the "cita-cita"(ambition) is something important for all of us).

And I'm also happy that I could honestly and sincerely tell him that, plus what I'd feel should/when he becomes better than I am right now. During my "pre-Gambang days" I might say the same thing "just to keep up appearances".

But inside, I might feel something else - I might actually harbour hopes for this NOT to happen ... it'll mean "I'll become inferior to him", or something like that. And take note that this kind of feeling is not limited to "the drug types" only - there are MANY so-called `normal' people who harbour this insecurity, jealousy and internal worry of someone else exceeding them in something. NO, I wouldn't really call this "being competitive" - it's the "resources are limited" mentality.

My thinking is like this: What do I lose when ArahMan7 becomes a better writer than I am? The answer is ... NOTHING! It's not like he saps something from me, just like Count Dracula the vampire does. Here, it's "parasitical" where someone/thing gains at the expense of another. But in our situation here, at the very least, I'll still be the same ... only ArahMan7 ADDING to himself from an infinte supply!

And I will be happy and pleased with you success, as I KNOW that you would be with mine; this I can honestly and sincerely say! Remember, never ever dengki (be jealous of) another's rezeki and potentials. From life's experiences (the best teacher), I've come to know that when I'm in this negative state, I actually lose! And paradoxically (to our `logical' mind maybe), when we hope for and are genuinely happy for others' success and rezeki, and help with what we could, we get "something" too! This is the amazing thing about "Life" and "Universal Laws".

I'm gonna stop right here before I write a book's chapter - and neglect the work that I'm doing now. When I have the time, I'll use this post as a "Link" to my own. When? I can't promise here yet. Insyaallah.