Changing Motives

"When we finally get own selfish motives out of the way, we begin to find a peace that we never imagined possible."
Basic Text, p. 44

As we examined our beliefs, our actions, and our motives in recovery, we'll find that sometimes we do things for the wrong reasons. In our early recovery, we may have spent a great deal of money and time on people, wanting only for them to like us. Later on, we may find that we still spend money on people, but our motives have changed. We do it because we like them. Or perhaps we used to get romantically involved because we felt hollow inside and were seeking fulfillment through another person. Now our reasons for romantic involvement are based in a desire to share our already rewarding lives with an equal partner. Maybe we used to work the steps because we were afraid we'd relapse if we didn't. Today we work the steps because we want to grow spiritually.

We have a new purpose in life today, and our changing motives reflect that. We have so much more to offer than our neediness and insecurities. We have developed a wholesomeness of spirit and a peace of mind that moves our recovery into a new realm. We extend our love and share our recovery with complete generosity, and the difference we make is the legacy we leave to those who have yet to join us.

Just for today: In recovery, my motives have changed. I want to do things for the right reason, not just for my personal benefit. Today, I shall examine my motives.

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The Law of the Garbage Truck

Beware of Garbage Trucks by David J. Pollay

Below is a very interesting article about the concept of letting go. A very dear friend of mine who would like to remain anonymous sent it to me these afternoon via one of her many emails. I hope by reading the little story will make you understand more clearly about the concept of letting go. When I was still active drugging myself, I found it difficult to accept other people especially those I thought who wanna hurt me. I kept on saying one of these days I gonna make them pay for what they have done to me, but once I forgave them all I felt relieved. Anyway, have fun reading it.

How often do you let other people's nonsense change your mood? Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you're the Terminator, for an instant you're probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly he/she can get back her focus on what's important.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab.Sharing with fellow addicts is a basic tool in our program. This help can only come from another addict. It is this help that says, "I have had something like that happen to me, and I did this... "

For anyone who wants our way of life, we share experience, strength, and hope instead of preaching and judging. If sharing the experience of our pain helps just one person, it was worth the suffering. We strengthen our own recovery when we share it with others who ask for help. If we keep what we have to share, we lose it. Words mean nothing until we put them into action.

Here's what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car's back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, 'Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!'

And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, 'The Law of the Garbage Truck.'

Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they'll dump it on you. When someone wants to dump on you, don't take it personally.

You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You'll be happy you did. So this was it: The 'Law of the Garbage Truck.'

I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, 'I'm not going to do it anymore.' I began to see garbage trucks.

I see the load they're carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don't make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best.

Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting. Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses. Teachers and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day. What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here's my bet.
You'll be happier.

So.. Love the people who treat you right.
Forget about the ones who don't.
Believe that everything happens for a reason.
If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life, LET IT!
Nobody said it would be easy...
They just promised it would be worth it!

"Blessings always look small if we hold them in our hands. But if we learn to share them, we realize how great & precious they are!"

As usual before I took my leave, here's another great news brought to you by The News Room entitled, Program Helps Ex-Convict & Addict Land Job On HBO's 'The Wire'.

Enjoy, my friends. See you when I see you.